There are more than one types of love that exist in the world. There are friendship loves, pragmatic loves, maniacal loves, erotic loves, fun-type loves, and unconditional loves. People can manifest more than one of these love types, yet, there is one love type that resonates with them the most.
The manifestation of these love types eventually leads people to seek mates that resonate with their dominant love types. For instance, people who look for and believe in unconditional love as the holiest type of love will seek soulmates, while others who see love as merely having fun will seek mates who are always ready to embark on adventures with them.
Unconditional loves are not always the best love, and erotic loves are not always the worst love. Unconditional love can be bad when the person doing it becomes a martyr. On the other hand, making peace with our erotic sides can lead us to understand our body needs well rather than succumbing so easily to sexual desires.
Any of these types of love can lead to blinded versions of love, and unconditional love’s martyrdom is just one example. The combination of erotic and having-fun energies of love can often lead to uncontrolled sexual desires instead of the healthy version of it (which is enjoying lively activities together while getting to respect our bodily needs).
Maniacal love is the most vulnerable to the blinded versions of love since obsession and codependency are two traits that people mostly associate with this type of love. At some points, this love type becomes the most materialistic love. People involved in narcissistic abuse relationships are more prone to succumb to maniacal love.
The psychological world also recognizes the different ways people express their love. So, the psychological world knows the term “love language”. Words of affirmation, quality times, acts of service, gift-giving, and physical touches are the major five love languages that many psychologists believe have been developed since childhood.
A person can complement his/her significant other’s achievements, love to cook together with his/her significant other, give gifts from overseas, and more, to express their love. However, they can also demonstrate “tough love”, which is the dark version of each of the five love languages.
“Tough love” in words of affirmation can manifest in harsh criticism or being brutally honest. In physical touches, a person can get physical with his/her significant other in the name of love to get what he/she wants. Other forms of “tough love” such as performing acts of service to make the other party forever indebted also exist for some people.
Another psychological fact about love that I find is that love doesn’t know the maturation process. Maturity is all about an individual’s willingness to heal their inner children instead of love, a feeling that involves mutuality between two people. Since love is not all about maturation (or “fixing”), we can’t force ourselves to be in a relationship for the sake of changing people.
In particular, we can’t change people who are used to the “tough love” methods or those who haven’t made peace with themselves. Even the psychological world agrees that we should direct the love energies first to ourselves before we do the same for other people.